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That’s how I felt for a long time. My immense excitement of returning to Ghana was also met with some pieces of a broken heart causing me to wonder, is God going to be able to use me here? As these mixed feelings loomed over me for the first few days, and I began to think maybe I wasn’t fit to serve these kids or my team just yet.
Coloring books. Word searches. Excel sheets. Dance parties. Long talks. Prayer and worship. These became the building blocks of my days in at City of Refuge (CORM). As each day passed, God showered me with laughter, joy, hugs, and love from the kids and my teammates. Whether it was talking to one of the older girls at CORM, Mary, about her hopes and aspirations to make a difference for the next generation of girls in Ghana or laying on the floor of the prayer house with my teammates talking about our greatest adventures after a productive day of ministry or sitting on a wooden stool with Auntie Gladys and Page washing dishes, I could see what was going on: God was mercifully gathering up my broken pieces. That He would gift me with encouragement, healing, and love from the kids, staff, and my teammates hit me hard every night. That He would use someone like me in the midst of my brokenness to do the same? Blew me away.
I think I had lost sight of my identity as a forgiving daughter of the King and was drowning in self-doubt. But God reminded me of something so important this past week. We are a broken people, but Jesus’ love mends these kids at CORM every day and His love gushes out from them. And just as He has healed them, He heals me and chooses to use me, despite my flaws, despite my past, despite sin and pain, to grow His kingdom.
Mended and whole.